Siam: The Pachyderm and I

Hmmm, markets. No matter where I am , what type of (perishables) market I visit - the smells usually make me gag! I went on an organised tour (6 tourists herded into a minivan with psychotic driver and "English" speaking guide) to the Khao Yai National Park. Included was a stop at a local fruit and vegetables market... wonder which one the turtles and toads in the blue buckets are classified as? Crowded, authentic Thai, with a wide variety of fruits I'd never seen before like Jack fruit (smells worse than it tastes), Dragon Fruit, Lychees, Rambutans,Mangosteen - got ripped off buying different types of exotic fruits as pricing changes depending on hair colour...naturally. But hey, when you get ripped off to the tune of 4 pence, is it worth losing your hard-earned 5 month "Zen" ? Nope!

I added yet ANOTHER first to my list - I rode in an Ox-cart accross Thai farmland... completely set up for tourists, obviously, but still a fun experience! I jumped in a cart with a couple from Panama - we all commisserated with each other about melting and the bumpy ride. I christened the 2 oxen (? what's the plural ?) Ping and Pong and tried not to grunt every time we hit a particularly bad rutt in the path. Now I know suspension is definitely not a wasted invention... and I have the bruises to prove that I went "local"!

Then we ventured further inland to Khao Yai National Park - it's main attraction is a 60 metre high waterfall. I'm sure its normally very impressive - but in the rainy season after a morning shower... it was thundering down. there were about 400 very steep steps down to the viewing platform, with only a rickety handrail on one side (claimed by the people walking up). So anyone who knows about my phobia of steep stairs will know just how much I trembled and shook as I made my way down (luckily I had raced ahead of the group in the "hike" to the stairs down, so I had a good head start and no one in the group witnesses the debacle! One group of Thais cominmg up the stairs asked to take a picture with/of me! Presumably to add to the slideshow with a commentary such as: "This was the foreign blond girl who nearly fell down the stairs where Grandma had no problem."

Below are some of the beasties I met along the way...

BUT without a doubt the best part of the day and my trip to Thailand so far was the ride on an elephant. I was a bit uncomfortable with the idea - after all, they're consigned to a life of inprisonment, ferrying tourists about day after day after day... should I be part of te reason this is propagated. But I'm weak, and when I saw PomPam running about (he was the youngest elephant in the group, only 15 years old), I decided to go for it anyway. Just getting onto the seat was an adventure, but then we plodded off toward the forest and all seemed nice and relaxed and fun...

Until the guide just sort of slid off the elephant (on purpose it turns out) and told me to sit in her spot and she would take a picture! So I clambered down form the safe tourist seat with seatbelt (why do they have a seat belt? Presumably, if the elephant trips and falls over, the LAST thing you want is to be tied to it while it falls on top of you?!?!)...anyway, I digress... I clambered down from the seat, with my bum on its shoulders and knees by the ears - no harness and way too far above the ground to just fall off and roll away laughing - thinking that the guide was going to take the photo and then clamber back up. Nope, that was not part of the plan!



The elephant continued on his merry way through the forest, through a stream/river, back into the forest and at last over a paved path back to the starting point. Obviously every trip happens this way, but since I didn't know that to start with it was thrilling and AWESOME! So was the build-in Airconditioning... which consisted of the elephant occasionally blowing air through its trunk at me... unfortunately mine appeared to have a mild flu and air was mixed with spit! ewwwwwwwwwwwwww Yet another first - "spat on by the Pachyderm". But hey, once you've been peed on by Pinkelboy, all else seems tame!

At the end, I bought some packs of sugarcane and treated PomPam. Unfortunately, one of the larger elephants became jealous and I had to buy a "diversionary" pack to keep it busy while I gave PomPam more TLC! Suffice it to say that I loved every wobbly, scary, freaky minute and it was the highlight of the tour!

Ayutthaya & Severe Temple Overload Problem (S.T.O.P.)

The first time I came to Thailand, I was 14 and visiting with Siratas and her family who kindly showed me around their wonderful city Bangkok. My lasting impression of the country for the next 16 years until my return was one of temples, gold and King everywhere. Now that I'm here again it's funny how the more things change, the more they stay the same. McDonald's is now everywhere and no longer considered "high-end dining" as it was then, there are lots of other tourists / blondes walking about this time, and I can get by with English almost everywhere in the city as people have obviously adapted to the flood of bargainhunters.... BUT, still temples, gold and King everywhere. Which is nice as that is at least something authentically Thailand.



OK, so much for the politically correct - and quite heartfelt - appreciation. Seriously, after ONE DAY on a tour of Ayutthaya, I am suffering Temple-Overload. There's only so much I can take and looking back at my pictures, they all look vaguely the same. Yes, there's different styles - Vietnamese, Chinese, Sri Lankan and Cambodian influences abound. Different states of disrepair - from the shiny and new to the crumbling and bare. It's pretty, it's amazing, but if I have to see one more temple I may FREAK-OUT.... Doesn't bode too well for my upcoming 2 month trip into China then... :)

I booked a tour to go see the old city of Ayutthaya - 3rd capital of Thailand, actually longest serving so far as Bangkok still has a few years to go to take over that record. If any of this is wrong, blame my guide for the day Paisahn. First stop was the main palace in the area. I wish I could do it justice - incredibly beautiful buildings and gardens - and the BEST bit of all??? You can hire a golf cart to drive around the estate! hahahah Of course, I stupidly forgot to take a picture, but I was assigned lucky "number 7" (for those of you not in the know, that's my nickname btw, it was clearly Meant To Be). I tootled around the place happily with Matt - fellow traveller from New Zealand who chipped into the golf-cart-fund. Definitely the better way to travel in the unrelenting heat and sun. Only downside is that the carts are fitted with limiters, and I could skip faster than their top speed!

Next stop on the tour was an old temple site - one that had been all but destroyed in the war with Cambodia (I think...in the constant barrage of information I'm not sure the right bits stuck...)

Above are pictures of me with one of the few Buddha statues that kept its head (most were decapitated), a picture of one of the temples with a shrine mostly intact, and me posing in front of a view with 3 shrines with different influences... the middle one is in the Cambodian style! Despite being slathered in Factor 30, I still got burned just walking around.

Again the sheep boarded the bus en route to the next stop - another Wat (Temple / Shrine) with a large golden Buddha statue, and a smaller building housing the oldest Black Greenstone Buddha in the world (picture below right). Another first for me! Everything is beautifully made, intricate, shiny... :P Unfortunately the thought uppermost in my mind was "when can I get back into airconditioned confines?" I'm such a culture barbarian!

4th stop was the massive lying Buddha on the right - this one NOT made of gold like the one in Bangkok because apparently it just washes off in the rain and its too expensive to have to keep reapplying it... So its covered in yellow/gold/orange fabric instead. Kind of looks like a massive duvet and I was wondering what it looked like underneath...but good little girl that I am I resisted taking a peek (no pun intended). :)

The last point on the itinerary was a 3 HOUR!!!! (lunch) cruise back to Bangkok. I must admit, it was much nicer than sitting in a coach for a change. I met a couple who were on their honeymoon - Tracy and Adam - and it turns out that tracy was in the musical Hairspray in New York (the nerdy best friend) and I would have seen her in the role when I visited with my mum in October 2005! What a small world! She gave up all the fame to move to California and start a new company called http://www.cleangeorge.com. The site's not really up and running yet - but remember you heard about it here first!

I'm melting...MEEEEELTING!

I thought Singapore was hot and humid, but that was before I arrived in Bangkok. Sticky doesn't even begin to describe it - why call them clothes when it's really all clingfilm anyway?! (that's Seran Wrap for those of the US persuasion...) I swear I'm sweating in places I never imagined, and I'm sure no one's interested in the details. Just wanted to make absolutely sure I got the point accross of just how HOT it is here (average 36C with 95 percent humidity). I was DEFINITELY made for snow.

Anyway, YEAH! Arrived in Bangkok - woo hoo. I have a nice hotel, got some excellent advice from my brilliant friend Siratas. Decided against hostel life because the hotel was so cheap! Hey, I love my luxury... The hotel is also directly linked on the second floor to the sky train (Bangkok's airconditioned - bless them - monorail system). Incredibly cheap - 15 Baht to go one stop and less for each additional section. With an exchange rate of 1 Pound to 65 Baht, I'm laughing all the way to the airconditioned mall, cineplex and supermarket!

I went to see Ocean's 13 with Siratas - it cost less than 3 pounds to see the movie (we went to the most expensive mall...) and I paid at least 90p for our popcorn... I wonder if I'll have a heart attack when I get back to the UK? Maybe I'll start making my own to sneak into the cinema... OK movie, better than Superman 3 in any case ( I know, I know, why did I pay to see that??? Why???? 2+ hours of my life that I will never get back!)

The unfortunate side-effect of all that wonderful airconditioning is a cold that I somehow picked up (not-pointing-any-fingers-at-best-friends-who-came-to-visit-in-Bali-and-were-suffering-from-severe-flu-like-symptoms-for-4-days). So hardly any pictures yet! My hotel is nice, but no hotel is nice enough to want to spend 2 days in bed coughing, spluttering and ordering room service, while watching Asian MTV and BBC World... I don't even have the option of alternating between CNN and BBC World... who by the way should really look at how often they repeat their programs... :)

I've booked a few tours for the next few days, so should be interesting to see how resilient I am in this climate... stay tuned to this blog for more action-packed adventures! *cough* *cough* :)

Singapore: the best bits!!!!

I didn't quite get round to a few things on my list:

1) the Orchid section of the Botanic Garden (54 hectares in 32C heat, I wonder why I didn't make it...)

2) the Butterfly Park (too far, too little time, too lazy)

3) the Jurong Bird Park (I'm saving this for my next visit!)

4) Underwaterworld on Sentosa Island (once you've gone swimming with whale sharks, everything else aquatic just seems too tame)

However, I feel I now need to add a 16th MUST DO in Singapore to my list, one which I most definitely accomplished. Hark! The Floss Bun!

I love trying stuff I’ve never seen before (and likely won't see again) and either being pleasantly surprised or put off for life (pretty much everything made of green dough). I could compose an ode to the "Floss Bun" as sold in Bread Talk bakeries, but I wouldn’t want people to think I’m weird... :P For those of you that have not had the privilege: it’s a sweet doughy, moist flat bun with some sort of creamy, jammy, eggy slop on top, then sprinkled with a satey-ey, cotton candy like pork flavoured “floss”. I know, sounds delish the way I describe, doesn't it? Luckily I only discovered it on my penultimate day here, so the damage I can do to my digestive tract is limited!

I spent my last day in Singapore with the ones I love - my ex colleagues in Singapore! They a really nice group of people, they let me prattle on and on and on and on (you ge tthe drift), and were extremely patient with my less than pretty lunch manners. I obviously need lots more chopstick-practice before I even think of venturing into China. Actually - they had to work, so I only spent their lunchbreak with them, but quality time nonetheless! Unfortunately, Since Kelly is no longer my travel buddy, there's no one to remind me to take pictures of people...

My last afternoon was all about Sentosa Island. After putting it off for an entire week - it's not airconditioned!!! - I finally realised it could be put off no longer. And it's a good thing I did! Its a brautiful island, this one's DEFINITELY Disney inspired. Little trams, a monorail, exhorbitantly expensive retail outlets and queues to get in/on/out of anything and anywhere. Fun, fun, fun! Actually, cool thing is that it has a spot which is the southern most point of continental Asia... so hey! Add that to the list of most western, southern, eastern etc bits of countries and continents so far! Sentosa cannot be described, it must be seen to be believed...so here are some of the best (pink-tinged) pics!

Singapore: 11 out of 15 ain't bad!

I love Singapore, as a stop-over. Not sure I could hack it to live here... it's what Disney land would be if it ever grew up and got stuck on fast-forward. :) Its nuts, hot, crowded and a microcosm compared to everywhere else so far - but kept me busy for a week and there was something for every one of my many and varied personalities...

I had a list of 15 things to do, didn't do too badly as I managed 11 + 1 chore:

Esplanade & Concert Buildings

Hippotour (bus sightseeing tour - courthouse on the right...)

Night Safari

Orchard Road Shopping

Little India

Suntec City & fountain of wealth

Bumboat along the Singapore river

Meeting Singapore ex-colleagues!

Funan Digital Mall and Sim Lim Square (where I SPLURGED...)

Drink/Dinner in the Asia Bar (top of the tallest building)

Sentosa Island & Vivocity Mall (DEFINITELY doing this tomorrow, really, truly...)

HAIRCUT (ok, not so much a "sight" as a chore). That's a picture of me at the hairdresser having my hair "blasted with pure oxygen" while it had some kind of moisturising mask on it. Yep - felt absotively and posolutely fabuliscious after they were done (bill was also AMAZING), but Singapore is the same as anywhere else... there's no way you'll ever recreate the feeling, style and look of a haircut after you've washed it yourself! But hey, at least I can say I accomplished another first - had my hair "done" at the Meridien in Singapore... if you're going to get it cut, might as well do it in style!

Everyone told me to go to the night safari, interestingly some of those had never actually been there! It was a long way out (for Singaporean standards), but definitely a fun evening. They basically cart the tourists around on little trams that glide past animals creepily half-lit... you can't take pictures because the flash would startle them, so I have nothing to show for it except a picture of the entrance sign! Highlight was definitely the Creatures of the Night show - very Disney like and funny. Especially since I unwittingly selected a seat right next to where the handler for the snow owl would stand. The bird flew out of nowhere, straight over my head, TWICE! Yay! :)

The other obvious thing to do is to go on a bumboat ride. I thought I'd be smart and combine all my sightseeing needs with one ticket... so I went to the tourist office to get a map of the stops for the Hippotour (hop on hop off bus including the bumboat ride)... next morning I waited patiently for 1 HOUR and 10 MINUTES at the nearest stop to my hotel before giving up and heading to the main office for the tour company. Turns out the map was old and the stop had been cancelled...perhaps someone should tell the tourist office, the many shops that have the OLD map, the bus stop sign with the tour company logo... but as you can tell it didn't bother the New Marisa at all... I was relaxed and COMPLETELY unfased as I hopped onto the bus anyway!

The BumBoat ride is just a small boat that does a loop on the Singapore River for 30 minutes, taking me past the Clarke Quay with its restaurants, Fullerton hotel, "Durian" shaped Concert Building, Merlion and <> the HSBC Building. Oh well, every city has a blight on its landscape... It was really nice to get away from the bustle and just sit back and relax on the water!

Of course, now I realise that I'd adjusted my white balance on my camera the evening before and this is why all my pictures turned out pink-ish. How... romantic? Hey, that's my verdict and I'm sticking with it!

Vega did her best to cram in even more into my days and nights - we went to Little India for lunch (an experience not to be missed, unless one is still suffering the after effects of a dodgy sandwich in Bali...), and to the Asia Bar on top of Singapore's tallest building for frozen margaritas. I got to hang with the cool chicks (aka Vega and her posse) for the evening, perhaps also a FIRST!

Singapore: Rebel Without A Chew

Once again, true colours will out - my REAL criminal self surfaces. In trouble with the law again, a fugitive, a criminal, a rebel without a chew! I unwittingly imported chewing gum into the country and proceeded to mash it while walking the Esplanade to Merlion Park with Vega from the Singapore Belkin office, Moreover, I “dealt” in the illegal substance and dragged Vega down into the chewy criminal way of life. I didn’t know! (That's me posing mid-chew by the way) Some people tell me its illegal, others (this is the story I’m going with if I get caught) tell me its ok as long as its for personal consumption only. Of course it is! I can’t help it that the idea of chewing gum made Vega rabid with wanting - to such an extent that she THREATENED me with extreme physical pain unless I handed over my stash! And if that fails, there’s always the Dutch Defence: Ehhhh, mie no speeking dah Ingleesh? :)

Anyway - I arrived without incident (save for the minor stomach bug I appear to have picked up somewhere between lunch at the Westin and arrival in Singapore… I’m not pointing fingers, but… avoid the club Sandwich at the Westin Resort Nusa Dua if you value your digestive system). My “hotel” is centrally located, that’s about it. Of course, coming from 5* luxury all but a palace would disappoint, but the YMCA International House is more a hostel than a hotel. Unlike its counterpart in Hong Kong - its neither clean nor recently refurbished. But, it has a bed (2 actually), a private bathroom, a little fridge and a view of the Singapore Museum! And very thin walls, so for the first 2 nights it was like being back home in Northampton… amorous couples across the world: unite! Yay. :( It also has breakfast included, but after a brief foray into the restaurant to check out the spread and nearly gagging on the spot due to the smell… I decided that was one “freebie” I could happily live without!

Luckily Vega (from Belkin Singapore) gave me lots of tips on what to do and where to go and Vanessa also gave a list of places to see. Who needs a city guide when you’ve got friends in the Know?!

My first day was spent chasing down the elusive HSBC card - with much success at last! Then I spent some quality time getting lost in Suntec City Mall - very spread out and slightly convoluted signage (but with lots of restrooms… a definite plus thanks to the Club Sandwich Experience). I successfully wasted a couple of hours without parting with any cash (despite the Great Singapore Sale now on with up to 70% off ! Come visit Singapore! Ahem) before visiting Vega at the Belkin office and taking a walk along the Esplanade with infamous results.

Speaking of which - we saw the “Merlion”, Singapore’s self-proclaimed ‘symbol for tourists’. Half lion (the top), half mermaid (bottom), hence Mer-lion. I suppose it sounds better than Lionmaid?! Wondering if its therefore actually half Merman (as with Lion / tiger cross breeding where its either a Liger = Lion father, or a Tigon = tiger father). Any ideas, feel free to contribute a comment to my ramblings…

Internet access is good here, but I might just be too busy to sit down and write it all! Right now I have 5 days and 15 things on my “short list” of things to do.

HSBC: The Saga Concludes... for now

I came, I saw, I grabbed my card and ran to test it in the next available ATM! It works and som of you owe me money (having bet that they would screw up yet again... how COULD you not have had faith?!?!)








Hahahahah. I tried to use my credit card (as opposed to the newly issued debit card) and it failed. Apparently the magnetic strip is damaged. Lovely. I'm NOT calling HSBC, instead I used a trick someone taught me in Broome - stick a piece of sellotape over the strip... works like a charm and I got a new pair of shoes! Result! Well, I HAD to test it...

Bali: Do as I say, don't do as I do!

Marisa does Bali - or rather - Bali does in Marisa. Despite a few mishaps (like being in a wheelchair for the first few days) this was an excellent break from my break! One place for 10 days, clean bathroom that I have sole rights to mess up, free toiletries (that I don’t use, but it’s the principle), and a turndown service for when you just don’t have the power to undo the bed cover’s super-crisp hospital corners on your own…

Of course, having V here for a week to bring back some sanity (regular working doc’s life experiences) into my otherwise insanely lazy and surreal unemployed travel life is a definite highlight!

Bali is heaven - especially if you're ensconced in the Westin Resort Nusa Dua for 10 days! I was picked up in style by a private car from the Westin and rode in airconditioned comfort to the hotel where I was greeted with a cold hand towel, a complimentary drink on the sofa while someone brought the check-in forms to me, and the LONGEST check-in process ever... Luxury cannot be hurried...




Above are some pictures I did manage to take (beach chairs, the bay at low tide, private massage huts by the beach where we had a 1 hour Balinese massage on the second day) - funny how I completely forgot to take pictures as soon as Kelly wasn't there to remind me! AND I have virtually NONE with people in them!!! :(

Now comes the don't do as I do part. Unfortunately, this was all too good to be true, I arrived without mishap and the next day Vanessa also turned up as scheduled to begin a week of girls-only wild and wacky fun... but fate had other plans. After spending an hour getting all dolled up to go out for our first meal (complete with slippery high heels), I decided to use the - possibly wet - marble hallway from our room to the lobby as a slide and went flying, painfully spraining my ankle. :( Luckily Vanessa was there with me and she is a) a doctor, and b) my best friend - so while she knew my condition was indeed painful but essentially not fatal, she still humooured me in my cries of pain and woe. I ended up in a wheelchair for 2 days. Of course I planned all of this just to have an excuse to laze by the pool!!!

HOWEVER, I did manage to get in a few FIRSTS in:

1) Used the Westin hallway as a slip 'n slide!

2) Cruised through the lobby in a wheelchair

3) Balinese Massage by the beach

4) Fruit carving (see below Watermelon I contributed to -- the clunky bits are by my hand)

5) Coconut leaf creations (see pics with the 7 different creations I learned!!! A new calling?)

6) Aquasize class (I am becoming my mother...)

7) Had a cocktail delived by the pool without straying one iota from my sunlounger (sorry Sally - no picture! I forgot, but I did toast in your honour!)

8) First-ever wrap, scrub & flower bath (and the last... just not my thanggg)

9) 22 million Rupiah hotel bill... a first, a last, a never again on my credit card? :P

10) I didn't buy any souvenirs (perhaps good considering point 9...)

I decided not to explore Bali too much and thus risk having a boring time on my NEXT trip here... :) Bali is nice & small, very interesting, but there's not THAT much to do. So it is easily explored on a short holiday if & when I'm ever back in a regular job again. Besides, I'm about to head for temple overload in Thailand and China! We did visit a wood carving factory and the main stone-carving street of Bali... because Vanessa needed to confirm previous buys with the manufacturers. :) We also went sea kayaking with the heaviest wooden oars I've ever seen. All interesting, but it's incredibly hot and humid and thus energy sapping during the day. Phwoar! Maybe I should be in sales since I seem to be good at convoluted arguments! Besides, getting a tan was a higher priority and a goal I definitely achieved!

And for those of you waiting for humiliating, painful, embarrassing, hilarious stories:

Funny episode 1:

I went to the concierge to ask for a bathroom scale for the room (it said in the guest services manual that one could request it)...they got one out in the lobby, tested it "en plein publique" and then handed it over. I thought it was hilarious and was quite happy to just march it to my room, crossing the lobby and encountering who-knows-who on the way, but Vanessa was deathly embarrassed and actually made me put it in a plastic bag! :P heheheheh I guess I've become a lot less uptight since the start of my travels!

Funny episode 2:

I had a "marine ritual" at the spa. 2.5 hours of massage, slathering of creams, bodyscrub, flower bath and a wrap with funky smelling seaweed mud before being wrapped in cellophane. Despite telling the masseuse several times not to scrub my shoulder due to sunburn - she still gave it a good go with the sea salt. AARGHHHHHHH. Each time I screamed, she said "sorry", went to another body part, before returning to scrub some more sunburned flesh. So I just grin and bore it after a while - let her get it done so I didn't have to put up with the pain anymore! I am never going through the whole thing again... being made to wear disposable paper panties while someone manhandles you for 2.5hrs is not my idea of fun! On the upside, I am verrrry smooth. :)