The Great Ocean Road.... bliss in a busride!

Today was THE day in Melbourne - time for the Great Ocean Road!

Since we had to get up for a 6:45 pick-up from the hostel, going out late again last night to a movie and then for drinks was perhaps not the best idea we've had so far... We managed to be outside on time despite having to get dressed in absolute darkness (my excuse for pictures to follow). And it was absolutely worth it!

It started off great when the bus pulled up 15 minutes before the pick-up time, just as I was sauntering to the kitchen for breakfast and Kelly was sucking down the first spoonful of fruit&fibre cereal. But all was well, because our driver-guide was James! He'd apparently gone into work early that day to ensure he could pick our group for the day! We must not have been that tiring, or maybe we'd at least guarantee a non-boring day.

Our first stop that day was at an aboriginal center where we listened to some history and information on the local tribes, witnessed truly amazing didgeridoo playing and learned more about aboriginal hunting. Unfortunately, me and my Big Mouth asked if we were going to get a demonstration of the weapon used most by the local tribe - a speer launched by a mallet, with which one could kill an animal up to 60metres away. The presentor was obviously waiting for someone stupid enougbh to ask and had me get up, walk to the end of the room, hold a teddybear in my outstretched right palm...while he aimed the speer at me from about 20 metres away. I thought it was a joke, figuring the insurance wouldn't cover something like this, but he seemed perfectly serious and spent about an eternity (seemed like it when it was being aimed AT me) positioning himself and the speer. I finally just put my left hand over my eyes so I wouldn't jerk my teddybear holding hand when I saw him launch the attack. He then said it was all a joke and great fun was had by all groups at my expense. Kelly - my FRIEND - just spent the entire time making sure she had good pictures of the incident!!! (that's me holding the teddybear on the left, and the aboriginal presentor aiming his speer on the right, in case it was unclear!)

Next stop was famous Bells Beach - the place where a world Championship surfing comp had been held the day before. We'd tried to go there 2 days before, but had been told it was cancelled that day due to small swells. It was funny seeing the tribunes and banners still up - we revently took picutres of where Kelly Slater must have wealked, surfed... breathed :)

The following stop was not supposed to be a stop, but when we were stuck in a traffic jam on the Great Ocean Road because there was a ceremony up ahead, yours truly Big Mouth asked if we could get off the bus to walk along the beach and meet the bus on the other side. So we all got off and had a little stroll along the beach. The two buses behind us apparently saw this and followed suit. Problem was that no one knew exactly when and where to meet the bus again, so the three guides had a hell of a time collecting everyone in their respective groups once they'd managed to park down the end of the beach! Yeah! Marisa : 2 vs Boring : 0!

We stopped at a small park just off the highway (2 lane winding road along the coast) to see Koala's in the wild. No Koala Coercion here - just simply Koala's snoozing in trees overhead. It was amazing to see one little Koala climb from one tree to the next - not just because the "little" Koala must've weighed at least 15kg and the branches he chose were rather flimsy! I got some great pictures, although I did briefly wonder as I was standing directly beneath them if they ever do a nr 2 in the tree....

We then raced on to a rainforest "walk" - since the entire group had gotten into the habit of "let's not do what the normal tour does", we voted to take a longer walk than scheduled at a different location to avoid the rest of the groups. What was supposed to be a walk turned into a group run... broken up by a fit of giggles from Kelly and myself when James started discussing FERNS!

The true highlight of the day though was a helicopter ride over the 12 Apostles. They're 12 rock formations (bits of coast cliff left standing after everything around them is washed away) in a row along the coast. Our pilot (the groundcrew - aka TopGun Team as we dubbed them because one had a particularly corny pair of aviator sunglasses - dared us to call him "Aunty Pat") had apparently been given instructions to scare us a little with sharp turns and the like. Too bad - I just LOVED it! Amazing views - wish I could upload ALL the photos!

The last stops were the "reserve apostles", a cave, and London Bridge. The last was actually stone formation forming a natural bridge with 2 arches. The middle bit - where it connected to the mainland - had collapsed 2 years ago. Apparently, when it collapsed, there had been 2 people on the outer part, who were then left stranded and had to be rescued by the coastguard. They'd refused all interviews and had hidden their faces from cameras - seems both were married - but not to each other - and they'd told their respective bosses they were ill that day, instead they rented a car for a romantic getaway that day. Hah! The truth will out! :P

Mistrust is good, scepticism rules - avoid the SUPERFREAK!

Today I am lucky. Not because I survived the Neighbours tour, but because I am alive after my mystery date.

Anyway, Neighbours tour first :) For all those only interested in my embarrassments (SHAME ON YOU!!!), skip this and move onto ***SUPERFREAK***.

The Neighbours tour featured:
- lots of driving in a mini bus showing old episodes of weddings, deaths and births...
- 20 minutes in front of a school and pictures of the gate with a sign saying "Erinsborough High"
- hordes of REAL fans staring enraptured at... not so great houses on a Melbourne cul-de-sac squealing eagerly when the guide brings out a fake street sign saying "Ramsay Street"
- Meeting Janelle, again, and blurting out when questioned by the aforementioned star about various actors on the soap and characters being named Marisa that "I don't watch Neighbours, they made me when I first moved to England as a kid... I had to avoid mass bullying" :P another Marisa Classic.

We didn't get to see the studio, or any of the sets, we didn't meet any other actors and spent the majority of the time on the tourbus with an admittedly very enthusiastic guide. It might be worth it if you actually watch the soap and know what the hell everyone's on about when they say Toadie drove Dione off a cliff and is now getting together with the oldest Scully daughter (ran out of memory for random names). Oh, and Connor and Michelle Scully are dating in real life...

***SUPERFREAK***

oh. my. god.
For all those of you who have told me in the (recent) past:
- "say yes, don't react negatively,don't be so harsh"
- "put it about a bit"
- "you never know, give it a chance...where is the harm in just going on a date?"

I hold you accountable for my momentary lapse in general mistrust of the human race, not listening to my freak-radar, and in particular abandoning my usual skepticism towards anything that looks too good to be true. I gave my number to a complete (goodlooking) stranger - to an overwhelmingly enthusiastic response from friends and family it seems - and not one of you even QUESTIONED if this was sane except myself! This should teach me to trust my instincts.

I tried to talk myself out of it, but Kelly (un)fortunately convinced me I was being stupid. I begged Kelly to walk with me to meet him. AND I was adamant that she take his number, description, and keep her phone at the ready.

All signs. Massive, humongous, bleeping, FLUORESCENT signs. Female instinct and intuition ignored at my own peril.

It all seemed innocuous enough and started off smashing with him complimenting me. :) We went for a walk to the botanical gardens as he was a keen gardener... I kept thinking something is off-kilter. Why else would I say I "have a bullshit-o-meter" and that I know TaeKwonDo??? Then he tells me "you're really jovial and humorous, I don't want you to think I don't appreciate it just because I don't have a sense of humour myself". Huh? No sense of humour? Uh-oh, Strike 1! (2 and 3, but hey, been told I need to give guys a chance, so I'm sticking with it).

After that I did a little more questioning (police-style, not letting him change the subject anymore) it turns out he loves gardening, at his MOTHER's house, WHERE HE STILL LIVES, at the AGE OF 37?! Strike 2!

Half an hour later, I am heartily sick of hearing about Ferns (green leafy plants). It's ferns this and ferns that, tallest fern, greenest fern, Queensland native fern, New Zealand ferns, touch the fern, stand under the fern, push the fern over... I get it, you like ferns. Can we move on? (preferably back to the city or somewhere I recognise and can call for help) Apparently not. He then comes up with classic freak-me-out-lines such as "I probably like ferns a whole lot more than I am letting on" (Nope, I'm pretty clear on that one!) and "I'm sentimental about them", "I identify with ferns, they're misunderstood". ARGHHHHHHHHHH. Strike 3!

RUN FOREST, RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!

He goes off to a restroom and I'm seriously contemplating doing a runner. But I'm not sure where to go or if he'll give chase. So I SMS Kelly to let her know where I am and that I'm coming to meet her. I texted this morning that I was going to be back late from a tour, thanks for the walk, a pity we have nothing in common, and basically have a nice life. ( I don't want a stalker).

Another FIRST, another one not to be repeated. Although I have to admit its a toss-up between Superfreak and Pinkelboy on my least favourite firsts... Superfreak might even win this one! I will thus remain single for the rest of my days. I will be available for babysitting duties until I'm about 80 and if anyone has any cats that I can adopt, or needs some knitting done, let me know!

We went to see Matthew Bourne's Swan Lake in the evening so the day wasn't a complete loss!

Penguin Parade, Koala Coercion, and the best guide in Australia!

I want a penguin!!! They're small, agile, super cute and all round lovable. I'd say they even rank above wombats in my affection now!

...starting at the beginning :)

Last night we went to stand-up comedy shows in Melbourne (its the Comedy Festial, so when in Rome...) It was hilarious - mainly because I was the only one in the audience to really understand some of the jokes! One of the comedians has Dutch relatives and speaks a bit of Dutch. He went to Amsterdam on holiday once and had us in stitches about the bicycles, canals and various other typical Amsterdam sights... then he told some jokes including Dutch insults... the rest of the audience was perfectly quiet when he said them in Dutch, I assume waiting for the punch-line. However, I had to laugh because I understood them and knew what was coming in the "translation"... so Kelly was laughing at me, laughing in the "dramatic pauses" :) Sorry Ben! (comedian). Anyway, never gave it much thought what stupid insults the Dutch come up with and how they sound when translated literally... By far the absolute best was "stomme bosmongool" = stupid person with basic intelligence who lives in the forest. Try saying THAT fast in English in a threatening manner :P

So... having gone out late at night, it was nice to have a tour start with a 10:45 am pick up for a change! On the agenda today was an all-day tour to Phillip island, known for the Penguin Parade, little did we know that was actually in the evening and the rest of the day was to be filled with the requisite money-spinning stops along the way.

Luckily for us, we had a really small group an awesome guide - James - who was quite happy to spur us on in our leftover hilarity from the night before. Anyone who really knows me also knows that a severe lack of sleep has the same effect on me as heavy drink does on others... We stopped at a Winery, where I donated my tasting samples to Kelly and then rocked and "burped" the mega bottle for pictures.

Next stop was a "wildlife park" - aka tourist trap - which I dubbed Koala Coercion. The Koala was pretty much asleep on a branch and comfortable with his little face pointing AWAY from the camera. But the wildlife guides at the center kept tickling/poking him with Eucalyptus branches to make him turn towards the camera. It was really quite sad and I refused to buy any pictures. Then we went to see wombats, kangaroos, more koalas, an alligator etc. I really left my mark with my exclamation of "A dingo stole my baby!!!" as we approached the Dingo exhibit... that's the dingo flying through the camera - it was just racing around its enclosure, kind of cute but also very sad. It became the chant for the rest of the day. :) I also had a nice chat with a cockatoo and a death-stare contest with the resident llama!

We stopped for a freezzzzing walk along the coast and actually saw a few penguins huddled under the boardwalk - they're only about 30cm high and they were at least 40 metres up the cliffs from the water. Its amazing how these little creatures can walk and climb up hills! Everyone was making fun of my mega-coat (the one I love more and more each excursion), one person even "funnily" asking me if I was going skiing....HAH! How JEALOUS they all were when the walk turned out to be numbingly cold! Double hah! I lent Kelly my orange scarf, but meanwhile I was TOASTY! Peek resorcefulness wins again!

Last stop was the actual Penguin Parade. We got off the bus and it felt so good to be standing that I burst into song and energetic dance with the last clip we'd heard on the radio - Robbie's "I just wanna rock, dee-jay... cause you're making me feel so nice". As you do... Not realising that the rest of the group was not following the guide to the attraction, but was instead standing behind me watching my performance. Hahahaha. Hah. Ha. :/ I had to have a picture of the bus....and the guide, James....obviously. To avoid having "boring, posey-type pictures" we're holding up random blades of grass... still a posey-type picture even if its not boring. :P

Anyway...

The Penguin Parade is a major tourist attraction with busloads of people being brought in to sit on wooden steps, facing a small stretch of sand, in relative darkness. We paid the extra $11 for "Penguins Plus" treatment which guaranteed us a seat nearer the side where the majority of the penguins usually emerge. It was awesome and made the whole trip worthwhile! Little clusters of 10-20 penguins would hop up onto the beach at intervals of about 5 minutes apart...making their way up the beach and a path alongside the seating area and walkways... they have a neck-swivelling-hipwigling kind of walk which is most adorable thing I've ever seen. Since cameras a strictly VERBOTEN, I sadly don't have any film clips, but I have been practising and have perfected the slinky-necked-waddling-gait for anyone wanting a demonstration when I am back!

We nicknamed one of penguins Jack Black because he was a little more rotund than the rest of his group and kept straggling at the back... he seemed to get winded and stop from time to time, so we stayed behind to cheer him on. Wish I could have adopted him!

A long drive back to Melbourne saw us being dropped off last - with James (the guide) even offering to take us in the tourbus to the nearest 7/11 to go buy milk :) He's supposed to be taking a group on the Great Ocean Road trip on Friday, which we're also doing. There are 3 buses going so with any luck we get the fun bus with James again!

Neighbours Night!

Tonight we went to "Neighbours Night" - basically an excuse for a lot of Brits to come together and celebrate 20+years of bad acting and unrealistic plotlines... :)


The pub was packed with people from England, Wales, Scotland, Ireland... spot the trend...(one lost Dutch girl...) and a handful of Australians.


We got to meet 3 Neighbours celebs - I only recognised one, namely KK (Karl Kennedy). But I also met "Connor - the Irish Guy", and "Janelle - The Yummy Mummy". Apparently Janelle left the soap last week, "Stingray" is now dead and all except one person (Janay, Janae????) is being written out of Neighbours so a new family can move in. Hope no one's an avid follower and I just spoiled the next year of plotlines! :P
There was a pub Quiz (Roger would've loved the more obscure questions) and I excelled in the non-Neighbours category answering such classics as "What are the colours of the Dutch flag?", "What is the word for water in German?" and "What is the capital of Venezuela?" :) Duh! Dutchy on the table with German mum who's been to Caracas airport! We still didn't make it into the top 5 of 51 teams though :( Oh well!


The evening ended with a performance from KK's band (don't remember the name, just know his nickname is "Fletch" ?). A great time was had by all, and I even had a drink, or two, to make it through! Discovered a new concoction that doesn't taste too much of alcohol... the Snakebite! (my consumptions pictured right)

Welcome to Melbourne, another first in the life of M...

I arrived in Melbourne 2 days ago... and haven't been "home" before 1am each night - so all those of you out there that used to tell me to get a life, I think I can now safely say I have one!!! Yeah!!!

The trip was really good considering we took a 1.5 hour flight as opposed to a 14 hour busride, AND we saved $60 by getting a really good deal (Dutchy in me is just overcome with pride). UNFORTUNATELY, it also means I missed going to Canberra, but I've been reliably informed that there's absolutely nothing to do there and most aussies react with "why would you want to go there?!?!?!".

The arrival was marred by a very rude person. I nearly flattened a guy at the luggage belt. He pushed over my friend in the aisle of the plane as we were all getting off - she was waiting for an elderly couple to go ahead of us and he just barged by. I don't see why people have to get pushy - in the end, everyone has to get off and wait patiently for the luggage midgets to do their awesome work... As I was waiting for the luggage to arrive, in my strategic spot just 2 metres from where it lands on the carroussel (as my daddy taught me) he leaned on me from behind trying to see over me?!?!?! Told him "excuse you!". He mumbled and backed off, temporarily. I was counting to 10 next offences / pushes before I was going to create a really loud scene (as my mummy taught me), but only got to 8 before my bag came. Next time I'm counting to 5. :)

The first night we went to a Movie Marathon starting at 22:50 and ending at 04:35... unfortunately we only made it through the first movie (Mark Wahlberg, The Shooter... Kelly is smitten, any girls seeing the movie will undoubtedly understand why once they see the scene where he is "unconscious" covered by a... serviette???). Second movie would have been Hot Fuzz, which we'd both seen and is a good movie... but the third was a frankly UNINSPIRING Jackass 2 and neither of us could be bothered to stay awake long enough to be bored by it. That and the fact that we were surrounded by "youths" talking on their mobiles during the film, it was probably best that we left before I had my second fight in Melbourne! :)

Anyway, getting to the GOOD stuff, the stuff everyone's on tenterhooks to read... the EMBARRASSING moments in my life! I have a HUMONGOUS one to report :) Also another First!

I was walking / racing back to the hostel (quite nice, bottom bunk alas) with Kelly, as we had somewhere important to go to that night (next blog entry) when I saw out of the corner of my eye some guy who had just passed us stop and walk after us. He was talking to Kelly as I continued to forge ahead. I looked over and he started saying something, so I kept up the pace and kept walking. Kelly held back and listened to something he was saying and then stopped altogether... (Apparently he'd told Kelly - got this info after lengthy analysis post-incident - he liked her friend, me! I kid you not, but despite looking really nice and friendly my first thought was "what does he want, I'm not buying". I believe I may have to do some work on my very mistrusting and sceptical mindset.

I hadn't heard what he was saying, but Kelly stood rooted to the spot. So I could either leave her there to fend for herself or at least have safety in numbers. I stopped, stared in a very dissuading manner and he proceeded to tell me that he had noticed me walking down the street. He said he normally wouldn't approach anyone just like that, but he found me attractive and had noticed my energy! As you can imagine, I was gobsmacked and uttered a truly vamp-like "oh". This was followed by him saying "you have really pretty light blue eyes" and another stellar response from me to the tune of "I'm so embarrassed". Nice, suave, sophisticated... Kelly walked off, probably too embarrassed to see me flounder more... (actually, she now informs me it was to give us "privacy"...)

I'll just leave you all on the EDGE of your seat as to what happened next, suffice it to say...stay tuned for Thursday... because, to continue racking up the firsts, I just gave my phone number out to a complete stranger on the street and will exchange more cunning and witty conversation (on his side) come Thursday. After all, I have to find out what's WRONG with him :) Scepticism is evil in the wrong hands...

We want YOU! Glorious Fame Awaits!

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You too can now experience the wondrous world of "Holiday With Marisa"TM !!!

Set in idyllic scenery, your trip will include tickets*, hotel*, luxurious food & drink*, sun, sea, sand, and wondrous wit and energy of the original MarisaTM !

Simply check the itinerary, select a location, date and duration and contact the Marisa-hotline below to secure your exclusive time with MarisaTM !

*paid for by participant, action figures of MarisaTM sold separately. Please seek medical advice from your GP before committing to The Journey.

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I've had a few questions about joining me in various places to experience the whirlwind fun up close and personal - yes, no other touring operator can guarantee embarrassing episodes and once-in-a-lifetime fun activities such as bunk-pissing! I'll keep updating my itinerary, which basically only changes if one of YOU joins me and can't fit into MY schedule! :) Of course, part of the agreement is that you prominently feature in stories and pictures published on El Blog! Be afraid... be very afraid!

My last day in Sydney *sniff*

Its raaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiining! :( I think Sydney is crying because I'm leaving tomorrow :)

I had to move hostels again this morning - so I packed up all my stuff and headed out. Methinks the excess baggage payment people will have a field day with me tomorrow - the post offices are all closed due to Easter so my plan to ship was thwarted. Virgin Blue Airways and the Post probably have a deal as well...

I met up with friends and we walked around Sydney in the rain. It was just clearing up (temporarily, alas!) as we were walking accross the Sydney Harbour Bridge - I never did that before and got the prettiest picture of the Opera House and Circular Quay! If you look closely - you can see the faint rainbow to the left of the Opera House.

Every time I've been in Sydney before, Luna Park has been closed. This time it had reopened so I decided to see what all the fuss is about. We played a game where you had to throw balls into certain holes to make a horse race accross a racecourse... ok, I'm obviously really bad at explaining this. The important thing is that I won! I picked a small white fuzzy Monkey as my prize. Rather expensive Monkey if you think about it - guess Luna Park and Virgin Blue Airways also have a deal!

Marisa Goes Cultural!

Yesterday I went to see the movie "300" at a special premiere Midnight showing in Sydney... just me and 399 other people. I went with Kelly and Gillian (of Rugby Match fame). On the whole, seemed like pretty normal young people... but then 3 obvious Geeks (nope, didn't miss out an R there) came in wearing red curtains and their mothers' brooches in a vague attempt at a Spartan Cape... Gillian summed it up pretty well when she loudly proclaimed "Sad Bastards". That was unfortunately also the highlight of the movie - if you haven't seen it, and you're not the type to perve on half-dressed bodybuilders, then don't bother!

To counteract the effect of 300, I went to see the Australian Ballet perform Don Quixote at the Sydney Opera House tonight! Sprightly, athletic, beautiful, ethereal and fragile... amazing what these dancers can do and how elegant they look hopping about the stage. I didn't get any pictures - so I can't show you just how wonderful it really was. But when Don Quixote had his dream about the garden and the Queen of the Dryads and Dulcinea danced, a chill went down my spine and I just sat watching in wonder... beats anything else any time.

Just a few things that went through my mind: Wonder how the male dancers get the tights to actually squeeze between their butt cheeks... wonder if anyone else wondered that... wonder how much a ballet dancer earns... wonder what the profit margin is for the Sydney Opera House...wonder how high the dancers can jump...wonder how many splits jumps they can do in a row... wonder if they ever get dizzy...

ok, so maybe I need to go to a few more cultural events to fully counteract the effect of "300".

All change!!! New Itinerary

The lady at Qantas in Sydney was not best pleased when I told her I wanted to change ALL my flights around. :)

I changed Cairns to Broome and am going to give Cape Tribulation a miss (have to save something for next time, right???), instead choosing to spend more time on the West Coast of Australia. Western Australia is bigger than all of Western Europe and can fit the UK+Ireland 10 times! I'm thinking this may be a lot of time on a bus and in a car, so I'll have EARNED the rest in Bali!

I am going to travel the south and west coast for the next 6 weeks - another friend I made in Taupo in NZ has travelled back from Brisbane to join me on a whirlwind tour of the least visited parts of Australia! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am determined to go to Kalgoorlie and see the Super Pit, Monkey Mia to feed the Dolphins, Ningaloo Reef and Shark Bay to swim with Whale Sharks, and ride a camel on a beach at sunset in Broome!!!! I want it all, and I want it... on the following dates :)

08 Apr: Sydney - Melbourne
16 Apr: Melbourne - Perth
* travel south of Perth to Margaret River, Albany, Esperance, Wave Rock and Kalgoorlie
* travel north of Perth to Kalbarri, Denham, Monkey Mia, Ningaloo Reef, Coral Bay, Shell Beach, Port Headland, 80 Mile beach and Broome.
25 May: Broome - Perth
26 May: Perth - Denpasar Bali
05 Jun: Denpasar Bali - Singapore
12 Jun: Singapore - Bangkok
26 Jun: Bangkok - Hong Kong
21 Aug: Beijing - London

Next updates to come soon... watch this space.

My First Rugby Match...

Today I did a nice harbour cruise - enjoying the familiar yet always impressive sights of the harbour bridge, opera house and Sidney city skyline! There's something about sitting on the roof of ferry, sun shining on your head, cold Diet Coke in hand, watching one of the most amazing city-scapes pass you by, knowing that you don't have to get up for work tomorrow or any other day! I have several sets of the same photos from previous trips, but it never gets old and this time is particularly sweet!

Today I also went to my first ever Rugby Match! (complete with cheerleaders... bitchy Marisa thought they were out of sync and not very good, but kind-mellowed-by-travelling Marisa thought it was fun despite it all and took pictures to send to Roger to cheer him up!).

We sat in the free seating area, but somehow managed to be surrounded by Manly Sea Eagles supporters (we were supporting the Sydney Roosters). Two guys were being particularly verbal against the Swans and the more invectives and crass they got - the louder I cheered the Roosters! Besides, their mascotte was cewl! Gillian and Kelly, two British girls who were with me, gave me odd looks every time I shouted and screamed my support! Unfortunately, Sydney lost, but not due to lack of support from me - I ended up nearly losing my voice too :)

Time flies when you're in Sydney!

I love Sydney! Yes I do! And I think it loves me too!

Its amazing what a little retail therapy and a big city can do. :) Although I've been here three times before, it's never dull and there's always more to do. Also helps that you know exactly where everything is and how to get there...




The weather's been a bit up and down, but even when its cloudy Sydney is great. I spent the first 3 days chilling and being a total tourist again - sightseeing hop-on-hop-off buses around the city, went to Bondi for the day - just saying that "Bondi for the day"... cewl! I strolled around Darling Harbour, George Street, and QVB. I did 4 loops on the monorail (because the Dutch person in me had to make the most of the day pass which is the same price as two singles...)

On the 29th I met up with a friend I'd met on my third day in New Zealand - Gillian - she happened to be coming back from Melbourne to Sydney for 2 weeks. I went to the Blue Mountains, which are neither Blue nor Mountains (won't bore you with the rest of the guided tour talk).


I did a few bushwalks while there to earn my lunch, waterfalls and cliffs aplenty! We saw the famous "3 Sisters" Rock formation near Katoomba in the heart of the Blue Mountains. Then we walked down into the valley following the Furber Stairs, basically 1020 steps down into the gorge, before capping the day off with a trip on the World's Steepest Railway (52 degree incline). Always better than doing the trip in reverse... railway down and stairs up!!!

My mind told me it wasn't vertical, after all, there's 28 more degrees to go!) but... certainly felt like it! When they put you in the train at the bottom, you're almost lying horizontal in your seat. Then the train drives up the mountain and you're basically looking out at the drop below with the mountain at your back. Truth be told, might not have been nearly as terrifying if I hadn't had my hands full with my coat, little rucksack, water bottle and camera... and been wearing linen pants that pretty much made the seat slippery as ice... I guess it's a much more relaxed ride if you can hold on and don't keep sliding off your seat. :) In any case - The Adrenaline Rush continues in Oz!


I've also been really lucky with roomies so far - series of very nice people that all knew how to use a toilet and weren't into extreme PDA's. I must admit, my standards for acceptable roomies have been lowered somewhat! However, I am starting to think I attract verbal diarrhoea - even when trying to sleep or obviously reading a book, they'll keep talking at me! ... but, I'm not complaining, no sir!

Farewell NZ, I win because I'm still in one piece!

I've done many activities in the land of action, some tame, some completely suicidal. I have to give due credit to Pak - she wrote on my leaving card that I HAD to do one new thing each day. I struggled some days (doing laundry in a hostel... does that count?!), some days I didn't need to try (e.g. courtesy of PinkelBoy) but without that incentive egging me on, I might not have tried quite so many different things.

Just to recap for those that haven't bothered to read my (almost) daily sagas, I've done:
Mountainbiking
Surfing
Hiking
Skydiving
Float plane flying
Sledging in grade V rapids
Horseriding
Bone carving
Sea Kayakking
Quadbiking
Scootering
Heli flight
Sauna
Bin Bag seamstress
Luging
River kayakking in grade II rapids
Segway (twice, but for the FIRST time in each city :P)
Red Bull Action Flite
Fudge Making Tour & Tasting
Historical Tram Ride
Punting on the Avon
Attended a PLAY in an-honest-to-G** THEATER
Hot Air Balloon Flite (thank you BELKINITES!!!!)
DROVE 3 DIFFERENT TANKS yesterday!

...and of course, who could forget:
Got pissed on in my bunk
Had people have sex in the bunk accross from me
Had people have sex in the bunk underneath me
... All definitely firsts as well.

I haven't completed the "have a cocktail on a beach" for Sally yet, but I'm saving that for Bali!

Some important life lessons I have learned along the way:
1) Never take the bottom bunk - self-preservation dictates that you cannot rely on (grown) people to have bladder-control, opt for the climb just in case
2) Some days I'm athletic, some days I'm a Klutz, the two don't seem to be evenly distributed or predictable, best just to go with the flow and laugh WITH the audience...
3) Despite numerous attempts, I will never be able to breathe under water or be comfortable in a wetsuit, so better just get all relevant activities crossed off the list sooner rather than later!


Next stop: Sydney!!!

Drive Defensively... Buy A Tank!

So... I either have unresolved issues centering on some sort of repressed rage, which makes itself known through an uncommon fondness for large lethal mnotorised weaponry...

..or I just really like driving tanks!

Possibly a bit of both. Disturbing though it may be. :P Maybe I missed my calling? Maybe I should have been in the army, churning up mud and remote landscapes (and small trees) with armored vehicles? Maybe I should change my name to "Rambette"?!

Today will go into the Annals of Marisa History, as today I drove 3 tanks. Not just a few metres, I drove them through rugged terrain on an assault course, with dips and bends and dust and mud... most of which found its way into my mouth by the last lap!

Meet "Sarah", the 10 tonne Saracen.
She can transport up to 8 people in the back, all of whom would be totally dependent on the driver's capabilities if they want to have a hope in hell of not being brained in their seats as the monster races over mounds and hills. It doesn't have very forgiving suspension...
It comes complete with power steering and a "pre-emptive" type of gearbox, which means you change the gear, but keep driving in the existing one until you choose to "engage" the change. All sounded quite confusing, but I found it very easy to drive actually! The power steering really isn't much help when careening around u-bends in a 10 tonne monster, but I'm sure its better than it would have been without. It literally drove over everything and I'm thinking it would be an ideal mode of transport to use in the urban warzone they call London. Might be a bit difficult to parallel park though...

Next was "R2D2", otherwise known as the FV432.

The F stands for something I can't remember, V is for vehicle and 432 is much as they would name a BMW 318 :) It doesn't have power steering, after all, it only weighs 16 tonnes and has a top speed of 50km/h. I pretty much hit that speed going around the tracks and over bumps! Last and most prominently used in the conflict in Northern Ireland by the British Army, it is steered by using two levers on either side of your body as you sit hunched forward in the very front right of the tank. Pull the left one and it stops the left track from spinning at the same speed as the right, thus making a left turn. Pull the left one REALLY HARD and you effectively stop the track and cause the 16 tonne metal 'vehicle' to spin 90 degrees to the left on its axis. Cewl... very cewl! Luckily it was an automatic, so one less thing to concentrate on! I had some fun with this one - it has a metal track with rubber pads (so it can traverse roads without totally mangling the asphalt) and is partially (?) armoured. It can also transport up to 8 people in the back, but is used mostly for reconnaisance rather than complete obliteration of everything in its path... that's what the next one is for!

Last, but by no means least, was "MAXIMUS", the 52 tonne actual battle tank used in Bosnia (amongst others).



Completely armored, with a turret/gun mounted on the top, it carries only 3 people - the driver, the commander and the guy/girl shoving shells into the gun! It had two tiny levers to try and turn the tank, though they did not actually slow the track as much as speed up the opposite track a little.... it has a totally crap turning circle, but apparently speed is your friend when trying to get it to change its course. So off I went! Some of the bends I had to pull with all my might with two hands on one lever to try and make it round. :) Obviously I need more Rambette training! It is also the only tank that has a clutch and could thus stall in mid maneuver - its actually know for its finicky gear changes and tendency to stall. Begs the question why you would make the one tank that is likely to encounter enemy gunfire the most likely to splutter and die in the midst of its charge?!?!?!

Anyway, I managed not to stall it, and in fact had a really good run in it. Didn't knock over any trees I wasn't supposed to and made it round the track in good speed.


And before anyone thinks I'm actually sad enough to have nicknamed the tanks myself, it wasn't me! Honest. The people who run the place nickname all their tanks and Hagglund / Jeep vehicles...

According to the instructor I was a natural on all three! Though I imagine they say that to anyone who just paid a small country's national debt for a 2 hour drive. :) He did appear to be suitably impressed - probably more so because I arrived being a) a girl, b) with long blonde hair c) wearing... pink?! He actually told me I could come back and get a job as an instructor! Har har har... that's if my future career in flying Red Bull Actionflites doesn't pan out...OBVIOUSLY!