It’s amazing what 9 hours of solid sleep will do – feeling refreshed and positively PERKY we were up and ready to explore. Heartened by the hostel’s breakfast of white bread, cheese, and coffee, we set off with a map and some money for the bus terminal. Roger’s Spanish is dead handy as I just have to stand by looking gormless while he explains what we want. After procuring 2 return tickets (volver – must remember that one) we boarded our bus and sat in the wrong seat. We were ousted by a little old lady who explained that the numbers on the tickets actually mean something. It seems my brother’s Spanish doesn’t quite stretch that far...An easy 1.5hours drive and we’ve arrived in Valparaiso. As soon as we get off the bus, a nice man in a fluorescent yellow jacket is waiting for us to show us to the tou
rist information center. Not. It is a tour agency and we quickly tire of the “this tour only, 2 places left, 10 minutes to decide” spiel and head out to take a walk around the area and look for the real tourist information center. Valparaiso is very hilly – it is built across 45 hills and it is completely impossible to see everything on foot. After taking a short walk through the market, seeing people buy watermelons literrally off the back of a truck, we end up back at the bus station and head to what we think is the real tourist bureau. We agree to take a slightly more expensive private tour (us, a driver and a guide) which will take us to 4 different towns. 20 minutes later we’re on our way and are told that we’re meeting another car and guide somewhere else since they didn’t realise we needed an English guide... a hint may have been my first question “Do you speak English – Hables Ingles?”.
OK, so we were had. We didn’t get a private tour, and instead of 4 places, we saw 3 – of which one was only to try to get us to eat in a specific restaurant where I am sure they receive a commission... We complained – and then got on with it and it was a great day nonetheless. Sunny, some funny people on the tour, and lots of hopping in and out of the minivan. Top sights of the day include the Renaca beach, Vina Del Mar flower clock (a must-see!), Rapa Nui head (from Easter Island - transplanted ot Vina del Mar), Valparaiso Pablo Neruda house and Funicular.
rist information center. Not. It is a tour agency and we quickly tire of the “this tour only, 2 places left, 10 minutes to decide” spiel and head out to take a walk around the area and look for the real tourist information center. Valparaiso is very hilly – it is built across 45 hills and it is completely impossible to see everything on foot. After taking a short walk through the market, seeing people buy watermelons literrally off the back of a truck, we end up back at the bus station and head to what we think is the real tourist bureau. We agree to take a slightly more expensive private tour (us, a driver and a guide) which will take us to 4 different towns. 20 minutes later we’re on our way and are told that we’re meeting another car and guide somewhere else since they didn’t realise we needed an English guide... a hint may have been my first question “Do you speak English – Hables Ingles?”.
OK, so we were had. We didn’t get a private tour, and instead of 4 places, we saw 3 – of which one was only to try to get us to eat in a specific restaurant where I am sure they receive a commission... We complained – and then got on with it and it was a great day nonetheless. Sunny, some funny people on the tour, and lots of hopping in and out of the minivan. Top sights of the day include the Renaca beach, Vina Del Mar flower clock (a must-see!), Rapa Nui head (from Easter Island - transplanted ot Vina del Mar), Valparaiso Pablo Neruda house and Funicular. 
The Funicular is a mini train like they have in Switserland to take skiers up the side of the mountain – these only have one “car” though and the longest is approx 150 metres in length. The Funicular car is basically a wooden shack on rails – you can even see the ground thro
ugh the wooden slats that make up the floor. Apparently most tourists are not excited by the prospect of a ride in a funicular – but since I insisted that this was part of the Valparaiso experience and we HAD to give it a try, they made a stop. We managed to get all but one of the other 6 tourists to come with us and we were soon bumping and shaking down the hill in the oldest of the old Funiculars. We made it down in one piece – a definite highlight in terms of adrenaline factor! We nearly missed the bus on the way back to Santiago (long line in the women’s restroom is a worldwide phenomenon). Luckily my brother came up with the brilliant tactic of simply standing in front of the bus as it was waiting to depart, thereby delaying it enough for me to run up and still climb in - courtesy also of the laughing, good-humoured bus driver.
Arriving at the other end in Santiago – we were again met by a conniving Chilean who obviously saw an easy mark in us. He kept looking at me with sad eyes, pleading with me... the final straw was when he jumped up at me and then sat back down wagging his tail expectantly. I wanted to buy him a hot-dog, but my brother thought I was nuts. So he gave him a cookie, which the dog wisely ignored and followed up with a baleful stare instead. The street dogs here are plentiful and all too sad. It’s an eye-opener because I’m simply not used to seeing so many dogs alone, hurt, hungry and completely at the mercy of strangers – in Europe we have dog pounds, and in China I guess they get eaten. I’m not sure which is worse...
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