I've finally updated Roadtrip part 6 including the Superpit with a fake post date just to confuse everyone while ensuring Chronological order for moi :) Happy Hunting!
Now for the latest in the HSBC saga - OMG. Truly, OMG! I don't know whether to laugh or cry (already shouted and swore plenty on the phone at midnight last night, so that's covered...)
Here's a run down for anyone who's missed it so far - skip it if you're not into extreme frustration!
14 April, HSBC sent a letter asking me to call them as they believe my card has been used in fraudulent transactions. I spend an hour on the phone from Melbourne with the Fraud Prevention Department (Incompetency Propagation Department = IPD) only to find out that:
a) there have been no fraudulent transactions
b) HSBC made the error and gave out my details, subsequently cancelling my card
c) they suggest I come into a London branch to pick up a new card...
Did I mention I am calling from Melbourne and am travelling for the next 6 months? Oh I did? Several times in fact? After much discussion, I get them to agree to send the card to me in Perth where I will be in 2 weeks' time. Since they cannot figure it out themselves, I go online to find the local branch, call the IPD and give them the address. They tell me the branch doesn't exist (right...), so I ask them to send it to the main post office for Poste Restante receipt.30 April, 1 May, 2 May - still no card. I call up HSBC (ironically from just outside their branch - as shown - in Perth, which is located on the same street as the post office). I tell them the card has not arrived, I cannot delay my onward travel further, and they need to trace it & send me a new one at my hotel in Bali - basically start doing their job. I end up speaking to 3 different people over the course of the next 6 hours as they have to "reconfirm details", ...have lunch, pick their noses, attend how-to-speak-English-with-a-unintelligible-accent class, and presumably grow a braincell or two thereby doubling their collective intelligence in the space of just a few hours... Can you feel my love?
No one in the department can find "Bali" and I find myself in the middle of the street shouting the spelling into my phone for the fourth time as the Incompetent still didn't get it: "B-A-L-I". She helpfully suggests that they have a branch in Jakarta that I could go to in order to collect my card "while you are in Indonesia". Right... let me book that flight ticket right now, not. They are unable to send my card to the hotel, because after all, this would presumably be MUCH too convenient for me.
My next suggestion is to find a branch in Singapore as this will be my next stop after Bali second week of June. Since the Incompetent I was speaking to could not navigate the HSBC Singapore website to find a branch located close to Orchard Road, they suggested I pick one myself. So I go online once more and at 1 am my time I'm on the phone yet again with the address. The response: "they cannot hold the card for more than 2 weeks, so can you please call us back in 2 weeks to remind us to send you the card. We have made a note of the address and all the details in your file."
Is it just me, or is it really worrying that an international bank, the size of HSBC, does not have technology that equals the agenda/alarm function on my 5-year-old mobile phone? By this time I was beaten into submission and simply agreed to the plan.
Which brings me at long last to last night...zee icing on zee cake...
Marisa: I am in Broome and I am calling as arranged to remind you to send my card to Singapore.
Incompetent: I'm just checking the details for you now, please hold
10 minutes later
Incompetent: Mam, which issue # are you expecting on the card?
Marisa: Well, since you cancelled issue #1, and issue #2 was cancelled after it was lost somewhere en route to Perth beginning of May, I'm assuming this would be #3 - but shouldn't YOU be telling ME this?
Incompetent: I'm just checking the details for you now, please hold
5 minutes later
Incompetent: Mam, it looks like the card was already sent to Perth?
Marisa: Yes, as I said before that card was lost in the mail, I'm assuming you put a tracer on it before cancelling it?
Incompetent: Mam, the card issue #2 is an active card.
Marisa: Oh for God's sake, I want to speak to your Manager.
Incompetent: Miss Peek, I will just go find our supervisor for you, please hold
5 minutes later I am joined on the call by the ASSistant Manager
Incompetent AM: Hello Miss Peek, how can I help you ?
Marisa: (5 minute heated diatribe including info above interspersed with repeated references to incompetent department, idiot employees, and choice swear words)
Marisa: Please confirm you have traced the card you lost over 2 weeks ago, cancelled it, and I will receive my new card no later than 7th of June at the Singaporean branch I have specified
Incompetent AM: Mam, I certainly do not understand why you have been given these instructions, would you please hold while I review the details?
Marisa: Do I have a choice? Go ahead...
5 minutes later
Incompetent AM: Mam, it seems the card has not been cancelled. Can you confirm that you did not receive it and you wish to now cancel the card with issue #2?
Marisa: Yes. Duh. I confirmed this 3 times already on the 2nd of May, you may wish to review the tapes of the conversations I had with your employees? I assume you can trace the card that was sent somehow, HSBC would presumably not just lick a stamp and send it out, fingers crossed?
Incompetent AM: Mam, once the card was cancelled, we would not have put a tracer on it.
Marisa: But you just told me the card was not cancelled and asked me if I wanted to have it cancelled now?
Incompetent AM: That is correct, mam.
Marisa: So in the 2 weeks since I gave your team my instructions, you have neither traced nor cancelled the card?
Incompetent AM: Eh, I am unable to confirm those details for you at this time, mam?
Marisa: But that is what you just said?
Incompetent AM: That is correct, mam.
At this point I was about ready to jump through the phone and commit a massacre. Once again, the Incompetent AM couldn't find the branch that was listed on the HSBC Singapore website, so I told him I would go check on its existence once I actually arrived in Singapore and agreed to have my card sent to the main HSBC office in Singapore instead. He helpfully suggested that I could go to their website IF I wished to lodge a complaint... so I told him to effectively stick it, and that I would first publish the tale on my blog (fait accompli), start a smear campaign amongst anyone I know or have yet to meet (please do forward my tale of woe), send a letter to my personal banker, charge back all costs incurred in my attempt to retrieve the card in Singapore (think door-to-door chauffeur-driven limousine) and THEN I might check out the suggestion he provided to me, and that I hoped I would never have to speak to another member of his department ever again.
Me, vengeful? Noooooooooo.
My card should therefore be waiting for me in Singapore on the 7th of June... I am now accepting bets at odds of 100 to 1.
1 comment:
Oh dear...I had dealt with my share of incompetent people before, but never had my card cancelled like this! I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you, Marisa!
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