Happy Valley, an evening of races and lost moolah!

Happy Valley, sounds innocent and quaint - kind of like Adventure Land in Disney-speak. And just like in Disney, everything looks magical when lit just so...


James and his fiancee Nim rescued me from the slum, hooked me up with a new "crib" on Hong Kong Island (away from the commoners on the mainland, hmph) and then kindly joined me for an evening of debauchery. Hang on, this is still me, so not so much debauchery as another attempt at a "First". We started off nice and slow, having a snack and drink in the infamous Lan Kwai Fong. That's not my beer, sorry!

Then we moved onto the races at Happy Valley race track on Hong Kong Island - LOTS of fun! Unfortunately, season at make sure you go. All the expats stand around drinking and "seeing and being seen"... its great to sit back and just watch them network!

As we were stuck in traffic for some time, I had asked the taxidriver if he had any tips. He gave us horse #8 in race #3 (both deemed to be lucky / prosperous numbers in China). We all ended up betting on the horse and it WON! Unfortunately, that was also the only time I won anything. Having been persuaded to bet on every race, I proceeded to lose a bundle (10 quid total). Perhaps my strategy of picking horses by number and/or by name rather than the stats had something to do with that! All my bets seemed promising but petered out in the end. Horse #7 in race #7 - aka Bulldozer - guess that should have given me a clue - was first all the way round the track until the last 25 metres. He just "peaked" too early! Similarly, Big Kahuna, Superdana, etc all seemed hopeful at first (= me screaming by the sideline) but then lost in the end. Alas, I did not win big, but neither did I lose my shirt! With 15 HK$ to the pound, I'm not complaining! Definitely my first trip to the races, and even more definitely not my last. I'm hooked... mama needs a new pair of shoes...

Hong Kong Slumming....

I arrived in Hong Kong without a hitch, took the free transit bus from the MTR to the Holiday Inn and then went to find my hostel... The porter at the Holiday Inn had to point it out to me 3 times... on paper "New Garden Hostel, Mirador Mansions" sounds romantic, exotic, comfortable... the pictures on the website and the comments from previous guests all showed a modern, clean, comfortable place to rest my head... oh how NAIEVE!


The hostel actually looked more like a high- rise SLUM in the middle of Hong Kong. With trepidation, I entered and confronted the rabbitwarren within to try to find my way to the elevator. I was accosted 5 times before I even got into the elevator - men asking me if I was looking for a guest house, one even tried to block my way so I elbowed him and dragged my 29kg bag over his foot... Once I got to the reception on the 13th floor (a window in a wall) I realised it wasn't a great stretch to think that they have a separate hourly rate as well as the nightly fee...


They didn't have the room I booked (explanation: we're fixing the aircon, you move tomorrow morning), so they put me in a "twin room", which they explained was much larger and more luxurious than the one I had actually booked... so the new-and-relaxed-Marisa gave them the benefit of the doubt and followed down to the 10th floor to the "Kowloon Hotel"...







I just LAUGHED AND LAUGHED AND LAUGHED when I first entered the room. It's a coffin - no window, 2 bunks, dodgy bedding, a shower CLOSET with the showerhead halfway suspended over the toilet seat... Hey, why waste time if you accomplish 2 for the energy of 1?! The doorknob to the outside door was kept in place with SELLOTAPE,so the chain quickly became my favourite thing in the coffin.




I ventured outside just long enough to get a drink and something to eat, when I saw the sign "elevator hours: 6am - 10pm". As I was on the 10th floor, the prospect of trying to find the stairs, navigating 10 flights, and trying to avoid the many dodgy men in partial darkness just didn't appeal. So I went to bed really early... 8pm early :P Although I was kept entertained during the night as the walls were clearly not much more than paper and sellotape either!



They were supposed to move me the next morning to the single room with window that I booked according to the website. So I got up early (had a 11:30 lunch appointment) and asked to be moved. They didn't have my room (people not checked out yet -- ehm, yesterday you said you're fixing the aircon?) so they told me to bring my luggage and leave it in the hallway and they would move it later. Yeah, funny, I don't think so. I told them they could either move me in the next 30 minutes or I was leaving with my key and keeping my stuff chained to the bed in my current room.

Lo and behold, they suddenly had a room available and told me to get my luggage... Having been born 30 years ago - not yesterday - and dealt with many a dodgy vendor, I asked to see it first. I am grateful for my scepticism! The new room was another twin, but half the size if that. The bed were maybe 50cm wide and 1.30 long, if you could have moved them together they would not one single bed make! I could've slept sideways in the foetal position - or stretched out and hung my feet out the door. The "bathroom" was more like a cupboard (even worse than the one I had) with the shower LITERALLY over the toilet and seemingly running from the same tank. So I declined graciously (thanks, but no thanks) and once more resumed the argument: give me my room or give me my money. As there were at least 8 other people waiting, watching and in some cases having the same issue, I guess they decided to get rid of the loudest protestor (me!) and told me to stay in the room I had to be moved the next day....

Of course, I went back to the room, removed all my valuables to take with me and chained my luggage with 2 steel cables and 4 locks (thank you 29kg bag!!!) to the desk. Ain't no one moving nothin' !

I left to meet James for lunch, taking 3 bags with all my valuables with me! James came to the rescue and had a travel agent look for a respectable but affordable hotel for me and I moved the same day. Needless to say, getting my money back involved 2 more visits, threatening, calls to my creditcard company and a whole lot of agro. At one point I just came at check-out time and blocked the desk for everyone coming and going with lots of shouting of words like fraud, illegal, want money back, call police, speak to my lawyer, not leaving until you do what I agreed yesterday... she tried EVERYTHING, and supplied lie after lie after lie, contradicting herself from one second to the next. I finally left with a supposed fax from the bank saying it's cancelled.... I'll keep a watch on my CC statement like a HAWK! I have a feeling this isn't over...

My new hotel is much nicer - it has a separate shower stall NEXT to the toilet :P Broadband access, mini fridge, and even roomservice (though ordering the steak got me a porkchop... hmmm) :)

Will I be pretty? Will I be rich?

All this "try one new thing per day" is really putting the pressure on to perform! With no other creative ideas coming to me, and being essentially lazy... I decided to go pay the Fortune Tellers in the hotel concourse a visit. You never know, they may spout untapped wisdom and have the answers I seek...

So I found out my time of birth (very important) and took myself, my hands with lines, and most importantly of all, my 600 Baht off to the aged and wise soothsayer for predictions galore. After watching her add numbers incorrectly for 20 minutes and scribbling Thai all over a pre-printed piece of paper, here was the verdict:



Year 2007/2008: Watch out for a female who is superior to you in work, she will try to harm you.

Year 2008/2009: will be a good year for money, buy a house/land/car/or something (trip around the world????)

Of course, I should have been warned when I asked her if I was going to receive a printed version summarising her predictions and her answer to this was (getting a piece of paper from her bag and ripping it in half): "Yes! Yes. You write." I had clearly hired a classy professional!


She then proceeded to tell me how my work was going very well. So I thought I'd help her along a little and tell her I was unemployed and intended to stay that way for some time. (Wehey!!!) This took us off on a tangent of "what? how you have money to travel? no work? you work! yes you work? really? no work? but you have money yes!". Following extended and tiring circular argumentation, we finally got down to the nitty-gritty - the predictions for the year to come!

June & Feb 2007, Feb & May 2008
I will get a lot of money from work, I will buy/sell/repair a house/land/car.

hmmm... maybe the whole I DON'T WORK thing didn't quite come accross as clearly as I thought...


July 2007, March 2008
please take care of your words, documents and anything you put in writing to avoid "problems"

So, no blog entries for the coming months then! Sorry - there's a higher power at work here... I don't want to anger the Deity Of The Tourist Baht.


August 2007
Use your knowledge to do things, you will have people agreeing with you

So this is when I will step up my campaign to have everyone in my acquaintance quit and come travelling with me. The forewarning will do you absolutely no good, as it hath been decreed that you must agree!


September 2007
you will have lots of money, do something new - change job, expand your current business

after some reminders of my current jobless state (that I'd had a job behind a desk working with computers for years, but no more) she said it could also mean I start my new company or find a new job... but I don't WANT to! :) I like bumming about!


October 2007
have troubles with old colleagues, have problems seeing same way as colleagues

Glad I sent them Durian toffee then! :) Ooh, maybe its the new colleagues once I start my own business! Yes, that's it. And they won't see my vision for Arm Candy bracelets and inflatable wear...


November / December 2007
you will meet someone, he will be your boyfriend, he will have a good job in a leadership position

Yeah! ....Unfortunately, at the end of the predictions she also said that I already met this person in January 2007. I cannot recall, so if anyone can refresh my memory, that would be great. Answers on a postcard to my mother who will no doubt wish to vet him first. :)


January / April 2008
you will have leader position in work/job, another woman will work with you (this the one you watch out for)

Smackdown! Bring it on! Of course I have no intention of being in gainful employment at said time, so any female that so much as struts arrogantly in my vicinity will be given the evil eye!

So, to summarise she said I would get a job or start my own business in something that looks "smooth" (we were having some communication issues in case this wasn't quite clear yet). Wanting the maximum for my moolah, I diplomatically asked her "that's it? you're not going to read my palm?". Which prompted her to grab my hands and proclaim that I will have a long life, good health, and that I do not like hard work (absence of rough skin on palms and dirt under nails). She backtracked somewhat and said "you not like hard work with the hands, hard work with mind, maybe computer huh?" Wow! If I hadn't told her that earlier, I'd be really impressed!

Apparently this is when you proceed to ask specific questions (to really get your money's worth). But since I didn't know, I came wholly unprepared.
So I asked: what about my goldfish - are they going to be alright?
She looked at my "chart" and said: Yes, they very good.
I finished with: that's good, because Bertha's been floating upside down lately, and normally only Bob does that. I was worried, but now I'm not!


Watch this space for more details of Prince Charming (please pray he's not related to Pinkelboy or Superfreak).

Bangkok shopping: ...please...I beg you... no more!

If and when I ever get the urge to go back to work and give up my life of globe-trotting (and let's face it, planning the next year's trips in my mind right now) I am definitely coming back to Bangkok to have my entire working wardrobe made to order at tiny boutiques with completely original designs in 24 hours for less than one outfit would cost in England. But I'd have to be in the mood and focused... because Bangkok is a maze of malls and shopping districts that even the best shop-a-holics in the world - such as Vanessa - could not conquer.

Unfortunately, being on the road, not really needing anything, and having breezed through shopping-mecca Singapore on the way here, I became bored with it all quite quickly. I know... *gasp* ... a female bored with shopping? Yes, ESPECIALLY when my bag already weighs 29kg and I face the prospect of having to lug it around on and off trains in China. So, in a final spurt of acquisitive energy, and to complete the "must-dos" in Bangkok, I enlisted help in the form of my friend Siratas and dragged her to Chatuchak market in 36C heat. A rabbit-warren of covered mini stalls, no airconditioning, baking in the sun... sounds just as inviting as the reality turned out to be! It's a really great place to buy just about anything for very little... just don't go there in height of summer as I did!

To recuperate from the heat, crowds and shopping (needing and wanting sometimes conflict in buying decisions...) we went to the Hyatt International Buffet for lunch and got the balloon-artists who were supposed to be entertaining kids to make us inflatable bunches of flowers! Walking along afterwards, I didn't have a spare hand to hold them, so I twisted it around my wrist like a humongous colourfull bracelet and dubbed it "arm candy"... wait a minute... perhaps the fortune teller WAS right after all, maybe this is my new business idea?! Never say never... :P



Heading to the cinema afterward, we happened upon some kind of Idols-type audition in the mall. Many hopefuls, not a lot of talent between them, waiting for their chance to screech for fame. It was hilarious to watch, but then we only "had to" witness an hour of it. Seems like the sound engineers and such had seen more than they could handle and were in various stages of boredom, unconsciousness, maybe even coma! Makes ofr absolutely addicitive viewing though. :)

I've travelled 17% of the world? Already?

That's can't be right... I've added a map to my facebook page (www.facebook.com) which calculates how much I've seen. Unfortunately - having only been to Isla Margarita, Caracas and Puerto La Cruz in venezuela, AND Rio de Janeiro, Natal, Buzios, Angra in Brazil - it counts those two countries as entirely complete. Same goes for all of China, when really I've only been to Shenzhen and Guangdong province so far. Talk about hasty generalisations! Of course I plan to visit as much as possible in the next 3, 6, 9, 12, 15, 18 months... I will not rest until its ALL done (or I get bored and run out of travelmoney).



In any case, it's a funny tracking mechanism and I think everyone should have a go!

Siam: The Pachyderm and I

Hmmm, markets. No matter where I am , what type of (perishables) market I visit - the smells usually make me gag! I went on an organised tour (6 tourists herded into a minivan with psychotic driver and "English" speaking guide) to the Khao Yai National Park. Included was a stop at a local fruit and vegetables market... wonder which one the turtles and toads in the blue buckets are classified as? Crowded, authentic Thai, with a wide variety of fruits I'd never seen before like Jack fruit (smells worse than it tastes), Dragon Fruit, Lychees, Rambutans,Mangosteen - got ripped off buying different types of exotic fruits as pricing changes depending on hair colour...naturally. But hey, when you get ripped off to the tune of 4 pence, is it worth losing your hard-earned 5 month "Zen" ? Nope!

I added yet ANOTHER first to my list - I rode in an Ox-cart accross Thai farmland... completely set up for tourists, obviously, but still a fun experience! I jumped in a cart with a couple from Panama - we all commisserated with each other about melting and the bumpy ride. I christened the 2 oxen (? what's the plural ?) Ping and Pong and tried not to grunt every time we hit a particularly bad rutt in the path. Now I know suspension is definitely not a wasted invention... and I have the bruises to prove that I went "local"!

Then we ventured further inland to Khao Yai National Park - it's main attraction is a 60 metre high waterfall. I'm sure its normally very impressive - but in the rainy season after a morning shower... it was thundering down. there were about 400 very steep steps down to the viewing platform, with only a rickety handrail on one side (claimed by the people walking up). So anyone who knows about my phobia of steep stairs will know just how much I trembled and shook as I made my way down (luckily I had raced ahead of the group in the "hike" to the stairs down, so I had a good head start and no one in the group witnesses the debacle! One group of Thais cominmg up the stairs asked to take a picture with/of me! Presumably to add to the slideshow with a commentary such as: "This was the foreign blond girl who nearly fell down the stairs where Grandma had no problem."

Below are some of the beasties I met along the way...

BUT without a doubt the best part of the day and my trip to Thailand so far was the ride on an elephant. I was a bit uncomfortable with the idea - after all, they're consigned to a life of inprisonment, ferrying tourists about day after day after day... should I be part of te reason this is propagated. But I'm weak, and when I saw PomPam running about (he was the youngest elephant in the group, only 15 years old), I decided to go for it anyway. Just getting onto the seat was an adventure, but then we plodded off toward the forest and all seemed nice and relaxed and fun...

Until the guide just sort of slid off the elephant (on purpose it turns out) and told me to sit in her spot and she would take a picture! So I clambered down form the safe tourist seat with seatbelt (why do they have a seat belt? Presumably, if the elephant trips and falls over, the LAST thing you want is to be tied to it while it falls on top of you?!?!)...anyway, I digress... I clambered down from the seat, with my bum on its shoulders and knees by the ears - no harness and way too far above the ground to just fall off and roll away laughing - thinking that the guide was going to take the photo and then clamber back up. Nope, that was not part of the plan!



The elephant continued on his merry way through the forest, through a stream/river, back into the forest and at last over a paved path back to the starting point. Obviously every trip happens this way, but since I didn't know that to start with it was thrilling and AWESOME! So was the build-in Airconditioning... which consisted of the elephant occasionally blowing air through its trunk at me... unfortunately mine appeared to have a mild flu and air was mixed with spit! ewwwwwwwwwwwwww Yet another first - "spat on by the Pachyderm". But hey, once you've been peed on by Pinkelboy, all else seems tame!

At the end, I bought some packs of sugarcane and treated PomPam. Unfortunately, one of the larger elephants became jealous and I had to buy a "diversionary" pack to keep it busy while I gave PomPam more TLC! Suffice it to say that I loved every wobbly, scary, freaky minute and it was the highlight of the tour!

Ayutthaya & Severe Temple Overload Problem (S.T.O.P.)

The first time I came to Thailand, I was 14 and visiting with Siratas and her family who kindly showed me around their wonderful city Bangkok. My lasting impression of the country for the next 16 years until my return was one of temples, gold and King everywhere. Now that I'm here again it's funny how the more things change, the more they stay the same. McDonald's is now everywhere and no longer considered "high-end dining" as it was then, there are lots of other tourists / blondes walking about this time, and I can get by with English almost everywhere in the city as people have obviously adapted to the flood of bargainhunters.... BUT, still temples, gold and King everywhere. Which is nice as that is at least something authentically Thailand.



OK, so much for the politically correct - and quite heartfelt - appreciation. Seriously, after ONE DAY on a tour of Ayutthaya, I am suffering Temple-Overload. There's only so much I can take and looking back at my pictures, they all look vaguely the same. Yes, there's different styles - Vietnamese, Chinese, Sri Lankan and Cambodian influences abound. Different states of disrepair - from the shiny and new to the crumbling and bare. It's pretty, it's amazing, but if I have to see one more temple I may FREAK-OUT.... Doesn't bode too well for my upcoming 2 month trip into China then... :)

I booked a tour to go see the old city of Ayutthaya - 3rd capital of Thailand, actually longest serving so far as Bangkok still has a few years to go to take over that record. If any of this is wrong, blame my guide for the day Paisahn. First stop was the main palace in the area. I wish I could do it justice - incredibly beautiful buildings and gardens - and the BEST bit of all??? You can hire a golf cart to drive around the estate! hahahah Of course, I stupidly forgot to take a picture, but I was assigned lucky "number 7" (for those of you not in the know, that's my nickname btw, it was clearly Meant To Be). I tootled around the place happily with Matt - fellow traveller from New Zealand who chipped into the golf-cart-fund. Definitely the better way to travel in the unrelenting heat and sun. Only downside is that the carts are fitted with limiters, and I could skip faster than their top speed!

Next stop on the tour was an old temple site - one that had been all but destroyed in the war with Cambodia (I think...in the constant barrage of information I'm not sure the right bits stuck...)

Above are pictures of me with one of the few Buddha statues that kept its head (most were decapitated), a picture of one of the temples with a shrine mostly intact, and me posing in front of a view with 3 shrines with different influences... the middle one is in the Cambodian style! Despite being slathered in Factor 30, I still got burned just walking around.

Again the sheep boarded the bus en route to the next stop - another Wat (Temple / Shrine) with a large golden Buddha statue, and a smaller building housing the oldest Black Greenstone Buddha in the world (picture below right). Another first for me! Everything is beautifully made, intricate, shiny... :P Unfortunately the thought uppermost in my mind was "when can I get back into airconditioned confines?" I'm such a culture barbarian!

4th stop was the massive lying Buddha on the right - this one NOT made of gold like the one in Bangkok because apparently it just washes off in the rain and its too expensive to have to keep reapplying it... So its covered in yellow/gold/orange fabric instead. Kind of looks like a massive duvet and I was wondering what it looked like underneath...but good little girl that I am I resisted taking a peek (no pun intended). :)

The last point on the itinerary was a 3 HOUR!!!! (lunch) cruise back to Bangkok. I must admit, it was much nicer than sitting in a coach for a change. I met a couple who were on their honeymoon - Tracy and Adam - and it turns out that tracy was in the musical Hairspray in New York (the nerdy best friend) and I would have seen her in the role when I visited with my mum in October 2005! What a small world! She gave up all the fame to move to California and start a new company called http://www.cleangeorge.com. The site's not really up and running yet - but remember you heard about it here first!