Tuesday 20 February 2007

Incommunicado - The East Cape Experience (Part 1: Te Kaha)

No phone, no internet, so no news. I'm backdating this to show true dates as time otherwise has little meaning for me!

I spent the majority of the past week completely incommunicado. I went on the East As trip with Kiwi - which basically does a giant loop around the eastern cape of the North Island. This is where many Maoris live and few tourists go. I wonder why, its beautiful. All highways in NZ appear to be 2 lane only, one going one way, the other... going the other way. Duh. The roads in the East Cape are no different, they just have a lot more bends as they snake around mountains and beaches, and less cars.

First stop was a Family Homestead at Te Kaha. An idyllic spot, situated on a virtually private cove and beach, with a hot-tub overlooking the bay. The family that run it are Maori and were very friendly. We had one toilet and one shower for 30+ people, but somehow it was comfortable. I would have stayed longer, but for 2 things...

1) They had a walk in fridge with "freshly" caught fish. I wish I could describe the smell - it was truly gagworthy. The fridge was located just 1 metre away from the door to the dorm, and my bed was neatly situated top bunk next to the door... thus the aroma accompanied me in my dreams. I made the rash decision of simply refrigerating everything I had in my grocery bag... drinks and snack... let's just say that I don't think blueberry & rotten fish muffins will ever catch on. Best way to diet - stick it in their fridge!

2) The guy who runs the place calls everyone "Chay". After hearing hundreds of Chays compressed into just one evening, I was heartily sick of Chay. I would have garotted the next person to utter Chay after we left...

The Homestead has adapted some songs with lyrics to fit their own location... classics include "Welcome to the Homestead at Te Kaha" to the tune of Hotel California, and "Naked in the Hot Tub baby this evening" to the tune of Hot Stuff. Yes... some were better than others. The singalong was followed by the "International Idol" competition where everyone had to introduce themselves, choose a solo or team performance and commence singing. After 6 "Hi I'm X, I'm from X, and I don't know what to sing, but definitely not solo"... it was my turn. So, having been told I must do one new thing a day, and not sure if sleeping next to a fish cemetary would count, I decided to be the FIRST to do a solo. Hey, I got free lemonade all evening for my trouble... :P Of course I didn't win the competition as I was completely blown out of the water by a Dutch girl, Bianca, who was a Tina Turner in disguise!

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